My partner calls me a pervert simply because I want to be intimate with her

DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner makes me feel like a dirty old man simply because I love being intimate with her.

She even accused me of being a pervert because I asked her to snuggle up with me.

I’m 49 and she is 48.

She always has too much on her mind, is perimenopausal, or has a headache.

What can I do?

I’m not sure how long I can continue in our otherwise loving relationship because although I know she loves me, I feel so rejected.

Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team

Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained councillors.

Every time I try to discuss our lack of sex, she point-blank refuses to engage. 

I would love to have sex with her more than our standard three or four times a year – and it only ever happens if we’ve both had a skinful on a big night out.

DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry your  relationship makes you feel like a dirty old man. 

There is nothing deviant about enjoying a close and fulfilling sexual relationship, and the mental health benefits are well documented.

Talk to your wife and let her know you need a proper discussion. Show her your message to me as you have expressed yourself so well. 

You can work together to have a more harmonious sex life but she needs to be brave and open up.

You would benefit from sexual and relationship therapy. Please look at, who can put you in touch with a reputable therapist.

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